We can’t all be camels, though what a harmonious world that might be. Not only would there be peace in the Middle East, most people would probably live there, at least for a few years until the current camel population could teach the world the ins and outs of camel life. Just because science is lacking behind imagine doesn’t mean perhaps one day glorious reincarnation can’t come to fruition. After all, Hindu tradition dates back 3,700 years, so who are we to call such an idea into question? Unfortunately, most men and women haven’t lived their lives with nearly enough grace to come back as such a noble creature, but for a lucky few, such possibilities may indeed be within only a few lifetimes’ reach. In the mean time, many men have made an attempt to live this life with a particular camel gusto, taking up traditional camel habits and tendencies even if constrained by human form. If there is, in fact, a camel-raised Tarzan figure anywhere out there, roaming the arid regions throughout much of his youth, yet forced to conceal his true identity because society won’t allow it, these potential candidates hide their humps least effectivelyRoberto Alomar Camels are known to spit when they are particularly peturbed, typically in the general direction of their agitator. Enter Roberto Alomar, perhaps the greatest second baseman in MLB History, playing 15 years at the highest level while tallying a record 10 gold gloves, plus 4 Silver Slugger awards. Of course, times weren’t always good for Roberto. Following a questionable 3rd strike call in a 1996 game against his former team, the Toronto Blue Jays, Alomar found himself in a heated argument with home plate umpire John Hirschbeck, intentionally spitting in his face before being ejected from the game. Thankfully, for Hirschbeck, Alomar’s discharge was merely saliva. Were he an actual camel, it would be closer to vomit, as the animal instead shoots out partially digested food when bothered to an extreme.Bob Hawke A Camel can drink 30 gallons of water in ten minutes, a feat that would kill a mere mortal. Besides, humans aren’t really that keen on chugging water in the first place, although ales are of more interest. Not only was Bob Hawke the Australian Prime Minister from 1981-1984, demonstrating the kind of leadership necessary to lead travelers through the Sahara, he also set the world record in 1953 for the fastest downing of a yard glass full of beer. For those unfamiliar with the popular pub contest abroad, a yard glass measures approximately 1.7 liters. Hawke polished off the tall pour in just 11 seconds. Though the record has since been broken, his capacity for quick consumption and flawless sense of political direction places him securely on the upper echelon of camel could-be’s.George Meegan Though camels are quite quick when they choose to run, they are more famous for their endurance and perseverance, taking slower steps but with the ability to go for extremely long distances. Commonly referred to as “ships of the desert,” camels have long been used to relay messages and goods across extremely long distances. Well, give George Meegan a backpack and perhaps he could fill in on spot duty. The world record holder for longest walk, Meegan started at the tip of South America and navigated his way to the Northernmost part of Alaska, all by foot, adapting, like a camel might, to extreme changes in weather. The trek took him 2,425 days spanning from 1977 to 1983, covering 19,019 miles in the process.
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and if I didn't, then camel I shall… |
